My applications are my most secret documents.
There are 23 in total. Most are just passing crushes ((like the NBC page program, Meghan Markle and Prince Harry’s personal social media content writer, goop’s Director of Essential Oils and Laxatives Re-Branded as Wellness Tea)) but some are true love.
I can’t help it; I discover a non-profit in a particular area of interest and suddenly I’m obsessed. I daydream about how great we’d be together – that non-profit and I- and I wonder “does that non-profit have a sustainable theory of change” or “does that non-governmental organization offer dental?”. I just can’t help myself.
I write my applications when I have ambitions so intense I don’t know what else to do. Rereading my applications reminds me of how powerful my desire to do good, make money, and pay off my student loans can be, how all-consuming.
First there’s Kiva- the microlending phenomenon, Polaris Project- the super well-funded, rich jock of anti-trafficking non-profits, cute and sensitive Center for Children and Youth Justice- serving child victims of commercial sexual exploitation in Washington state, Shared Hope International, but they go to a different school, and lastly, International Justice Mission. My International Justice Mission.
I keep my applications in a special folder on my desktop right next to “Photos that I Actually Like of Myself Should A News Station Need One If Something Tragic Or Glamorous Happens To Me” and “Memes I Need to Ask My Younger Siblings What They Mean”.
I wasn’t actually going to send the applications or anything, it was just for me to understand how well-qualified I feel. But really I guess it was mainly about how sometimes I imagined what it would be like to just once be liked back, to be recruited.
You don’t know me really but I just wanted to tell you how much I love the way you empower local economies and small businesses in developing nations through crowd-based microlending. It’s just so cool how you create sustainable change in communities because you connect lenders with an area they’re passionate about- like agriculture, education, and refugee services. (I also connect people to things- mostly getting my friends hooked on murder podcasts or Scientology documentaries.) For just $25 dollars of a repaid loan, you predominately help women with small businesses in over 81 different countries financially support their communities? I’m swooning.
Maybe one day, you’ll see how my International Political Economics degree may compliment your sparkly mission statement. But until then, I guess I’ll just pine over you.
I love you so much it hurts. Your work protecting the 50,000 children entrusted to the juvenile justice and child welfare systems is so dope, it’s stupid. I bet you tell all the girls about the importance of closing the gaps that children fall through into traffickers’ hands by systemic reform. You’re all about empowering foster care and homeless youth, keeping kids in school, protecting LGBTQ youth, and ending gang violence as a way to prevent Commercial Sexual Exploitation of Children, (CSEC) and I’m all about luxury cheese and also all those things that you are.
Whatever. Use your replicable model of justice system reform to end CSEC without me. See if I care.
Dear Polaris Project,
I get it. You’re too good for me. You work with the likes of the FBI and Homeland Security. You’re the one of the top experts in the fight against cybersex trafficking of children and I’m just some lowly anti-trafficking advocate with a blog. You run the National Human Trafficking Hotline while the only time I run is out of cheese puffs. But when I can’t help it, I dream about us together- joining forces with other international agencies, breaking up the dark net, and rescuing the most vulnerable children. I definitely cried during Wreck-It Ralph II but I am certain that I could be an asset to your efforts.
I first saw you as I was twirling my hair, leaning against my locker. You didn’t even notice me; you were too busy ending sex trafficking in America. Your policy reforms shine in the sun and you have golden flecks of mass awareness initiatives against the devastation of sex trafficking throughout the world. We have so much in common- we both care about the link between foster care reform and weakening sex trafficking, we both value research as a foundation to understanding the issue, and we both want to see children grow up happy, healthy, and safe.
I guess what I’m really saying is…do you wanna go to prom with me?
What have I left unsaid about my love for your mission to end slavery in our lifetime? I’d follow you to the ends of the earth.
P.S. I still love you.
Applying to a job is scary. That’s a part of the risk. I don’t want to be scared anymore.
The applications are out.
At this point, you’re probably like “Maggie, did you just exploit my love for Noah Centineo to educate me on the efforts of some truly amazing non-profits and convince me to mention you to my high-power, well-connected aunt who can get you a job?”, then yeah, you’d be correct.
Love you all (especially you, Noah Centineo, who definitely reads my blog),