Today was the first day of classes of my senior year.
I felt like throwing up this morning because I couldn’t wrap my brain around the fact that I’m starting classes for nearly the last time of my undergrad career. And I was shaking in my bones because the classes I have now are the hardest yet.
There’s this little, tiny aspect of my major that I have been putting off since day one: international affairs combines both politics and economics. While one is a passion of mine, the other is basically the bane of my existence. So far, I’d been able to shirk off the economics portion and really devote myself to French and regional politics but alas, my false reality bubble was popped by International Economics and International Political Economics (yeah, amazingly they are two different courses). Along with International Law, Scientific Enterprise, and a yet-to-be-determined 2-credit course, my plate is full! And that’s only the academics! I’m co-running French Club, picking up my parents’ blog for CVL, hoping to create a volunteer group, and maintaining my sanity, all while getting prepared for Hong Kong and working at scholarships.
It’s a lot but amazingly, not nearly as much as other students. But I realized something today.
I’m excited for it all!
I love knowing people around campus, bumping into friends, and investing in others. It only took a full year but I finally have a little, comfy microcosm of friends and activities here that I really care about. I love looking at my classes’ syllabi and roaring to go. I’m desperately excited to learn about human rights, exchange rates, international justice, the question of sovereignty, predicting countries’ next financial moves, even how I, Maggie McMillan, fit into all of this.
This post is to remind myself that when things become overwhelming, which they inevitably will, I am capable of doing this. And doing this with passion, instead of getting lost in college’s lull of uncaring boredom. This is a promise to myself to remain dedicated to this short and fleeting portion of my life with ambition, contentedness, and most importantly, zeal.
So here goes.